how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
