You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
