i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
