I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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