Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
