you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
