just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
