at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
