oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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