both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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