But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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