I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
