is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
