is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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