office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
