She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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