He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
