About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
