just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
