WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
