Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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