Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
