Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
