hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
