i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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