I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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