Yo dont text me then not text me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize