I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
