And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
