Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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