wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
