just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
no you cant smoke seaweed
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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