Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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