Last Night in New Jersey (201)

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american

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  i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?

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  its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..

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  she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  he confused my yawn for an orgasm

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.

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