Last Night in Illinois (312)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

• (312): View more from Illinois

  I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.

  Fav 44 1704 13700

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?

  Fav 37 1260 10003

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (310): View more from California

  Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?

  Fav 72 2446 9639

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.

  Fav 22 1229 8676

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?

  Fav 97 1305 8422

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself

  Fav 57 858 6239

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (312): View more from Illinois

  She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her

  Fav 13 1016 5920

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.

  Fav 29 1471 5417

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

  Fav 388 132000 5202

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.

  Fav 10 1081 5130

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.

  Fav 71 1023 5064

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (312): View more from Illinois

  it's gonna be a chat room kind of night

  Fav 24 906 4429

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  ...well that sucks.

  Fav 37 929 4409

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.

  Fav 45 1687 4317

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT