Last Night in Illinois (312)

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it

  (917): View more from New York City

  the suitcase or the dildo?

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  get to allyx's house asap

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Ok is everything ok

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Yeah, theres just lesbians

  (312): View more from Illinois

  omg yes on my way

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.

  (1-312): View more from Illinois

  None of that is ok.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job

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