Last Night in Virginia (757)

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.

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