Last Night in New Jersey (862)

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.

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  Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  yet...

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin

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  doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me

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  that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism

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