Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (289)

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Last Night in Ontario (289)

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(289): View more from Ontario

Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.

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(289): View more from Ontario

So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already

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(289): View more from Ontario

The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.

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(289): View more from Ontario

Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.

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(289): View more from Ontario

I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.

(647): View more from Ontario

It's sore actually

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(289): View more from Ontario

Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.

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(289): View more from Ontario

You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Happy Birhtday!

(289): View more from Ontario

Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home

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