Last Night in New York (347)

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• (347): View more from New York

  in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him

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• (347): View more from New York

  I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock

  (347): View more from New York

  I THOUGHT I SAW YOU

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• (347): View more from New York

  I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN

  (347): View more from New York

  I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN

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• (347): View more from New York

  sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.

  (347): View more from New York

  he is a god among men.

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• (347): View more from New York

  Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono

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• (347): View more from New York

  we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  go home

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• (347): View more from New York

  just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner

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• (347): View more from New York

  the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant

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• (347): View more from New York

  we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this

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• (347): View more from New York

  How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"

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• (347): View more from New York

  I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning

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• (347): View more from New York

  my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand

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