Last Night in Arkansas (870)

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.

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