I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
another moral hangover. fuck.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
