She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
