Texts From Last Night · 40ozoflove's Favorites

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40ozoflove's Favorites Texts:

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(785): View more from Kansas

I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man

Fav 10 2984 997
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(631): View more from New York

I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?

Fav 6 2510 964
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(620): View more from Kansas

Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.

(1-620): View more from Kansas

No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.

Fav 9 1806 856
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.

Fav 6 2948 1120
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(847): View more from Illinois

Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?

(312): View more from Illinois

I get to be your mom.

Fav 11 4062 1729
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(248): View more from Michigan

Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.

Fav 17 4572 1521
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(908): View more from New Jersey

He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"

(973): View more from New Jersey

What's this douchebags name?

(908): View more from New Jersey

Rob...

Fav 67 8122 4287
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(704): View more from North Carolina

we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong

Fav 3 2681 1352
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