Texts From Last Night · BlOnDie9009's Favorites

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BlOnDie9009's Favorites Texts:

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(940): View more from Texas

Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.

Fav 10 4011 1273
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(406): View more from Montana

As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.

Fav 21 5018 1508
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(831): View more from California

Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.

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(315): View more from New York

mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"

Fav 22 5431 2012
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