toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
