i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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