Texts From Last Night · FOXMAN09's Favorites

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FOXMAN09's Favorites Texts:

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(415): View more from California

My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.

Fav 7 1079 591
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(315): View more from New York

That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?

Fav 13 1646 745
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(914): View more from New York

Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested

Fav 4 2083 889
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(519): View more from Ontario

My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.

Fav 20 3997 971
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(845): View more from New York

Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.

Fav 6 1093 858
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(571): View more from Virginia

How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.

Fav 3 3517 1048
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(360): View more from Washington

There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.

Fav 21 2506 878
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(630): View more from Illinois

the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed

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