Texts From Last Night · HeatherAlice's Favorites

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HeatherAlice's Favorites Texts:

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(864): View more from South Carolina

just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

youre welcome

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(310): View more from California

I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it

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(260): View more from Indiana

A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him

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(810): View more from Michigan

i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!

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(360): View more from Washington

I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.

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