Texts From Last Night · OnlyTheLonely's Favorites

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OnlyTheLonely's Favorites Texts:

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(415): View more from California

just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.

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(970): View more from Colorado

dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..

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(604): View more from British Columbia

He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.

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(512): View more from Texas

I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.

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