Texts From Last Night · TheBurninator's Favorites

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TheBurninator's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.

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(816): View more from Missouri

It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea

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(630): View more from Illinois

everybody makes mistakes

(1-630): View more from Illinois

i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"

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(330): View more from Ohio

so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister

(216): View more from Ohio

i hate you

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(416): View more from Toronto

Best. Handjob. Ever.

(905): View more from Ontario

I'm guessing Kelly is over?

(416): View more from Toronto

Nope. Home alone.

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(631): View more from New York

This beer is not sobering me up at all

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(515): View more from Iowa

you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?

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