Texts From Last Night · TheseAreMyShoes's Favorites

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TheseAreMyShoes's Favorites Texts:

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I stole a fireplace last night.

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(713): View more from Texas

I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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(513): View more from Ohio

4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.

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(707): View more from California

And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa

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(323): View more from California

You got in a fight last night?

(818): View more from California

Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

(323): View more from California

Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

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