I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Randomize
