JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize