Texts From Last Night · captain_ahab's Favorites

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captain_ahab's Favorites Texts:

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(225): View more from Louisiana

If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party

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(727): View more from Florida

My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.

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(517): View more from Michigan

we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.

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(707): View more from California

At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome

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(440): View more from Ohio

Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."

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(607): View more from New York

I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.

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(517): View more from Michigan

i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend

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