Texts From Last Night · chaos1984's Favorites

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chaos1984's Favorites Texts:

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.

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(816): View more from Missouri

he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.

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(330): View more from Ohio

why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?

(1-330): View more from Ohio

she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.

Fav 33 6187 2011
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(818): View more from California

remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

(702): View more from Nevada

Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

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(303): View more from Colorado

It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.

Fav 22 8925 1836
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore

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(937): View more from Ohio

[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]

Fav 29 12047 2998
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(760): View more from California

Why is your vibrator in the fridge?

(1-760): View more from California

I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.

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