Texts From Last Night · clydemiester's Favorites

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clydemiester's Favorites Texts:

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(330): View more from Ohio

just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.

Fav 40 14774 2007
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.

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(805): View more from California

peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.

Fav 11 2875 837
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(212): View more from New York

You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?

(475): View more from Connecticut

Yeah?

(212): View more from New York

Stuck it in his pooper.

Fav 209 11133 5014
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(804): View more from Virginia

no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies

Fav 18 4208 1636
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(631): View more from New York

i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick

Fav 20 1731 2096
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(619): View more from California

Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

Fav 46 29492 2649
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