Texts From Last Night · dmyjuly's Favorites

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dmyjuly's Favorites Texts:

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(859): View more from Kentucky

When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"

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(817): View more from Texas

He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...

(1-817): View more from Texas

Actually, she's fat now, so...

(817): View more from Texas

Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.

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(705): View more from Ontario

You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months

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